Our Dream Date with Mango

As you may (or may not) know, Mango is running a kind of contest where a lucky gal (or pair of sisters) will get to go on a Dream Date with Mango! Truth be told, Abby and I have both harbored secret crushes on the Relentlessly Huge for AGES. I mean, the jowls, the drooling, the lipstick. What's not to love?


However, Abby and I have come to recognize that we may not be Mango's "type." I have a feeling he prefers his gals a little more mature (and I don't mean older, I mean less, goofy, er, exuberant) and more on the full-figured side. Mango weighs more than Dad. The two of us combined are barely one half of Mango. So, we were kind of thinking that we might not be the lucky gals who win their dream date with the Mango. Not pleased with that, we thought we'd be proactive, and fly the Mango out here. He said he was looking for a great adventure, and we figured that between the two of us, we could give Mango a Truly Great Adventure. We did our best to show Mango a good time! Note: the pictures should be biggified for best effect.

We reinforced AirFiona with heavy-duty cardboard, and flew the RH out to Park City for a Great Adventure the likes of which he had never experienced before! And may never want to experience again... But hey, it was a Great Adventure!

It was a little sketchy clearing the Rockies (I should have used an extra-heavy-duty rubber band, as AirFiona was pretty close to its payload limits...), but we made it safely to Park City.

While Park City is known as a ski town, there are lots of fun things to do in the summer, too. We know that the RH is not a big fan of long hikes or swimming, or other activities that require a lot of physical exertion, so we thought we'd find some activities that would be more suited to his, ah, gravitationally agreeable self.

In 2002, Salt Lake City hosted the Winter Olympics, and Park City was the site of many of the skiing/hurtling-down-mountains events. Not far from our house is the Utah Olympic Park, site of the ski jumping, bobsled, luge and skeleton events. Since all of these events involve getting from the top of the mountain to the bottom of the mountain (rather than going from the bottom to the top, which involves a lot of work), we thought the Mango would be interested.


Our first stop was the bobsled. The Olympic Park runs 'bobsled adventures' in both winter and summer, so non-professionals such as ourselves (and Mango) can experience flying down a track at a zillion miles an hour. It sounded good to us. And with an experienced driver at the wheel, what could go wrong?

Well.... once Mango got in the summer sled, it turned out there wasn't room for anyone else, like the driver or the brakeman. So, they gave him a push and told him to hold on...

Having discovered Mango's inner 'need for speed' we thought we'd head over to the ski jumps. While we weren't completely sure how aerodynamic Mango would be, we figured his Relentlessly Huge self would pick up enough momentum on the 120 meter jump that he'd fly when he hit the take-off.

With a little coaxing (and a big push), Mango went flying down the jump. Needless to say, Abby and I were extremely impressed with the athleticism displayed by the flying mastiff. I think someone should contact the Norwegian nordic ski team!

We considered signing Mango up for a skeleton lesson. Hey, we had Mom's magic plastic card - it's not like these adventures were costing us anything. We were certain skeleton would be the perfect sport for him, combining his gravitationally agreeable body with his desire to be in the prone position as much as possible. But for some reason, we couldn't convince him to give it a try.


After nixing a skeleton lesson for Mango, we thought he might enjoy something a little more, ah, relaxing. So, we convinced Mom to drive us to Snowbird, where we thought a nice tram ride up to the top of the mountain would allow Mango to take in the fresh mountain air, enjoy the scenery, and spend some quality time with us, without having to exert any effort on his part.


After a nice, calm, scenic ride on the tram, we thought we'd give Snowbird's alpine slide a try. I mean, what's the point of living in the mountains if you can't go flying down them?


After the alpine slide, Mom suggested that maybe we had terrorized tired out Mango enough for one day, and we should head home. Abby and I had a great time during our adventures with Mango. We're sporty girls, and we figured that if Mango was engaged in activities that allowed him to use his Relentlessly Huge self in combination with the forces of gravity, he'd have a good time. But apparently, Mango's idea of a dream date was a little more, ah, dreamy, if you know what I'm saying...

Heehee.

Still, we were really thrilled to be able to provide Mango with a Great Adventure. We were in the fresh air, we got to hang out with the world famous Mango, and we were able to avoid getting completely covered in drool. And he was a good sport - I don't think he expected to be hurtling down mountains, but he did really well for being the canine version of Howard Hughes (hey... Mango said himself he's a bit of a recluse...). I'm not sure if we were able to convince Mango that we'd be the perfect set of sisters to take on a date in MasterChewSits, but we sure hope that he'll be willing to consider squiring us around his hometown. Pretty please!

Thanks for the most excellent date, Mango!

*kissey face*
-Fiona and Abby the Hippobottomus

Disclaimer from Mom: No mastiffs were hurt in the making of this post. Also, all of the pictures from the Olympic Park and Snowbird were downloaded from each site's official 'Press photos' page and are not my own, so please, no one sue me!