Tuesday, July 21, 2009

A stop before heading back home

Petey is a bright guy. Not that I'm telling you anything you don't already know, but I'm going to reiterate it for effect. In his inestimable wisdom, he suggested that before AirFiona makes the trip back to the Colonies, I might see about hitching a ride in the Tour de France.

Originally, I had planned on going to the Tour to help Lance Armstrong with the extra bacon grease that I had left over from the British Open, but apparently the International Cycling Union has some Pretty Strict Rules - about pretty much everything, it turns out. And bacon grease is high on the list of no-no's. Right after amphetamines, it turns out.

So, I was about to give up on the Tour, even though I knew that Mom and Dad would be watching every second of the teevee coverage to see me. And then, Petey gave me the brilliant idea of a bicycle basket!!! I just needed to find a rider who would be interested in a little extra ballast for the downhills.

I put in a bunch of phone calls, and called in a few debts, and was finally put in touch with Johan Bruyneel, who thought that Lance Armstong, who is such a good descender, wouldn't mind a little extra weight on the downhills. The downside, of course, was that he was going to have to haul me up the hills, but after doing some advanced math and applying some slightly questionable laws of physics, we all decided that I would be more of an advantage on the downhills than I would be a disadvantage on the uphills.

So!!!! I had The Basket Lady overnight me a bicycle basket, and the team Astana techs got it all set up on Lance's bike. It looks a little unwieldy, but it's really WAY more aerodynamic than it looks. Besides, with my very aerodynamic schnozz, I am able to help create a super-aerodynamic position for descending big hills.

And boy was it AWESOME!!!! I got to ride with Lance. And give him directions. And talk strategy. And help him finish his lunch! This was So Cool that I think I might stay in Europe a little bit longer!!!!

That said, I'm a little worried that I might have jinxed Tom Watson, so I think I'll give Lance a break tomorrow, and see if I can just ride along in a team car. Or work with the commentators...

*kissey face*
-Fiona, the almost-in-the-yellow-jersey-Goldendoodle


Bell and Kimberly said...

hI fIONA... you have to get checked fur those foxtails too.. they SUCKS.. i hate them... me no likey...

I'm gettin' better though.. hoping mama will take me to doggy beach this week end.. crossing my paws..

Bell girl

Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

Watch out fur those khrazy fans!


Checkers said...

Fiona - i don't think I'd like riding that fast - but then again maybe I would - I loved hanging on the edge of the golf cart - Perhaps I should have been alongside Tom Watson -

Twix said...

HiFi! (Hehe!) What a wonderful trip you've had! I may have to fly Air Fiona some time. It sounds a little more pet friendly than the other airlines. Did you take Lance to dinner after the race?
Love and hugs,

Dennis the Vizsla said...

hello fiona its dennis the vizsla dog hay wow that is a cool ride yoo hav got their!!! hay can yoo see if lance can introdoose yoo to sheryl crow??? dada reely likes sheryl crow and -- wot??? oh dada sez those too broke up like yeerz ago well ekskyooz me if i am not up on my pop kultcher dada i gess SUM of us hav nuthing better to do than to keep trak of wot selebritty is dayting wot other selebritty rather than doing important stuf like playing fetch with there own dog!!! but im not bitter!!! ok bye

Ms. ~K said...

Wrooo wrooo, Look at you!!!
Have fun,
Zack, Sassy and Buddy

Lorenza said...

Hi, Fiona!
I am sure you had a pawesome time with Lance!
I'd love to be there too!
Kisses and hugs

Sierra Rose said...

Fiona! Really funny!!!! As, mom, dad and I are just reviewing today's Tour. We watch everyday. Bummed about our local, Levi!! But, YOU! Super stylin' in that basket. We are sure that you are able to give Johan some insider Astana tips....as you are RIGHT THERE! Keep us posted, on your basket Tour! Yeaooo!

Hugs and snaggle-tooth kisses,
Sierra Rose

Rocky Creek Scotties and Java said...

We're hoping he doesn't hit any bumps in the road - are you wearing a basket belt?

Lilly, Piper, Carrleigh and Java

Life With Dogs said...

Careful in the mountain twisties! ;)

hero said...

Hi Fiona, that ride with Lance sure looks fun... you are his lucky mascot!

The Army of Four said...

Shouldn't you be wearing a helmet? Safety first!
Tail wags,

Dory's Backyard said...

Wow Fiona, you are like SOOOO popular in Austin for helping Lance out! Maybe you could fly Lance back to Austin and visit me?? BOL


Mango said...

Great way to see the countryside.


the 4 Bs said...

what an adventure. you look adorable.


Brownie said...

What an adventure! You look right at home on the bike! :)

Micki said...

The ride with Lance looks like such fun. I wouldn't mind meeting him myself.

1000 Goldens said...

Good plan riding with Lance - you will be an excellent motivator!

Honey the Great Dane said...

This is such an original, creative post...love it!!