Originally, I had planned on going to the Tour to help Lance Armstrong with the extra bacon grease that I had left over from the British Open, but apparently the International Cycling Union has some Pretty Strict Rules - about pretty much everything, it turns out. And bacon grease is high on the list of no-no's. Right after amphetamines, it turns out.
So, I was about to give up on the Tour, even though I knew that Mom and Dad would be watching every second of the teevee coverage to see me. And then, Petey gave me the brilliant idea of a bicycle basket!!! I just needed to find a rider who would be interested in a little extra ballast for the downhills.
I put in a bunch of phone calls, and called in a few debts, and was finally put in touch with Johan Bruyneel, who thought that Lance Armstong, who is such a good descender, wouldn't mind a little extra weight on the downhills. The downside, of course, was that he was going to have to haul me up the hills, but after doing some advanced math and applying some slightly questionable laws of physics, we all decided that I would be more of an advantage on the downhills than I would be a disadvantage on the uphills.
So!!!! I had The Basket Lady overnight me a bicycle basket, and the team Astana techs got it all set up on Lance's bike. It looks a little unwieldy, but it's really WAY more aerodynamic than it looks. Besides, with my very aerodynamic schnozz, I am able to help create a super-aerodynamic position for descending big hills.
And boy was it AWESOME!!!! I got to ride with Lance. And give him directions. And talk strategy. And help him finish his lunch! This was So Cool that I think I might stay in Europe a little bit longer!!!!
That said, I'm a little worried that I might have jinxed Tom Watson, so I think I'll give Lance a break tomorrow, and see if I can just ride along in a team car. Or work with the commentators...
*kissey face*
-Fiona, the almost-in-the-yellow-jersey-Goldendoodle
