Thursday, July 30, 2009

Complaint Form, Please

I need to lodge a protest with the management. My servants parents have Really Been Slacking. And I'm Not Happy About It.

Yeah, fine, Mom takes me on hikes, and Dad plays ball with me, but they Aren't Home as much. And this is completely unacceptable.

Apparently they have been "bye-sickle-ing". Which, from the sounds of it, is a lot like what I did with Lance Armstrong in the Tour de France, but they don't go near as far, or as fast. But they've been doing this alot. Mom says they are trying to "get in shape". What shape are they trying to get into? A box? A triangle? And what are they going to do once they get into this shape? I don't get it.

And they are spending their entire mornings Away From Home. And Not With Me. And the worst part? Usually in the afternoon Mom takes a nap with me (because TaiChi wakes her up at night to go outside - old lady bladder and all) but because she's "bye-sickle-ing"in the morning, she's "working" in the afternoon. Which seems to mostly consist of her typing on the computer or talking with Dad and Uncle Charlie. So no nap time with me.

I really don't think this is acceptable. So can those of you with more experience tell me who I submit my complaint form to?


*kissey face*
-Fiona The Disgruntled

PS O Hai, Kim. Welcome back. Hope you are enjoying yourself. So sad that your office doesn't give you something better than IE 6.0...


bbes tribe said...

Poor Fiona, We agree it is totally unacceptable when our humans do things without us. Have you tried making them feel guilty??? We do that sometimes. Sometimes it works.
Good luck
Ernie & Sasha

Anonymous said...

Your situation sounds extremely dire. If I were you, I would write a letter to the editor of your local newspaper and explain exactly what's been going on. Then the authorities will be notified and take action. I'm pretty sure they will want to lock your parents up but that's okay... you can come live with me as long as you don't bite my ear off or poo or pee in my yard.

Ms. ~K said...

We agree, something must be done immediately!
One of the local TV stations in Atlanta has a guy who investigates all kinds of complaints...I bet if your Rama saw her picture on the 6:00 news, the situation would improve...Let us know if you want us to forward the guy's number!!!
Keep us posted!
Wrooo wrooo,
Zack, Sassy and Buddy

Katie, Mollie and Bobo said...

So sorry to hear you are unhappy. Our momma is an online college student and spends most days home....You can come live here if you want.

Licks and Wags,
Mollie and Bobo

hero said...

Hi Fiona, this is totally unacceptable... please file your complaints to NATO headquarter in New York. NATO as in No Attention To fiOna.


Dennis the Vizsla said...

hello fiona its dennis the vizsla dog hay in my ekspeeryense complaynt forms ar only yoozd to singel peepul or dogs owt for speshul attenshun and punishment so if i wer yoo i wud skip that and go strait to the meedia!!! ok bye

Martha Basset said...

This is shocking - we will put a canine complaint form in the post straight away.
Our mum tells us that she had a trailer for Harry, our basset predecessor. He sat in the trailer and was pulled by Dad on his bike although as our Dad is getting on in years he couldn't manage to cycle up hills with Harry behind!!!
They did got cycles around relatively flat places,
Demand a trailer.
love and kisses
Martha & Bailey xxxx

Mango said...

This is very inappropriate behavior. Any exercise that is performed sans doggie must be discouraged.

Try working on your sad face. Or maybe you can bitey the bye sickle tires and make them all flat.


Woodrow, Sweetie, MJ Campanella said...

you gotta tell mommy that ou need to go with them - when our mommy goes bicycling we go with her

Woodrow, Sweetie & MJ

Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

Mango pawed it best!

He won't lead woo astray!


Dory's Backyard said...

Media, Sad faces, bicycle bitey...

Yep...all great ideas...or maybe a BIG FIONA BASKET!!!

Yeah...I'm sure they make them in Fiona size!!

Good Luck! I am lucky that my Mommy has down time at work, so she can type up all of my notes!!


Maggie and Mitch said...

Dory is right! You've seen Petey's bicycle basket, right? You simply MUST have one too, Fiona!

Love ya lots
Maggie and Mitch

YD, sometimes with Samantha & June said...

Totally unacceptable! We think you should teach them a lesson. How about bite their tires so they can't go bye-sickle-ing anymore? Or you can chew up their bye-sickle-ing gears.
We hope this situation improved and your problem got dealt with soon.

Sam & June

bermudabluez said...

Love this post! Tell your mom she needs to get you a bike trailer!!! We have one!!! We don't like it....but you probably would!!! Your mom gets a heck of a workout on her legs though...pulling that thing! Too bad you're not closer...we'd ship it to ya! And it's plenty big enough for you AND TaiChi AND Bufus!!

The Army of Four said...

Hmm. Can you sit in a basket on the bike like that Toto dude did in that movie?
Play bows,

1000 Goldens said...

Fiona, you are certainly justified in your feelings. When will the humans ever understand that we are: 1) The Boss 2) Sensitive Creatures and 3) The Center of the Universe. Best of luck in resolving this matter. I support your efforts.

the 4 Bs said...

this is so sad. actually it sounds like Dog Abuse to us. maybe you should call the dog police and have their bikes impounded.