Complaint Form, Please

I need to lodge a protest with the management. My servants parents have Really Been Slacking. And I'm Not Happy About It.

Yeah, fine, Mom takes me on hikes, and Dad plays ball with me, but they Aren't Home as much. And this is completely unacceptable.

Apparently they have been "bye-sickle-ing". Which, from the sounds of it, is a lot like what I did with Lance Armstrong in the Tour de France, but they don't go near as far, or as fast. But they've been doing this alot. Mom says they are trying to "get in shape". What shape are they trying to get into? A box? A triangle? And what are they going to do once they get into this shape? I don't get it.

And they are spending their entire mornings Away From Home. And Not With Me. And the worst part? Usually in the afternoon Mom takes a nap with me (because TaiChi wakes her up at night to go outside - old lady bladder and all) but because she's "bye-sickle-ing"in the morning, she's "working" in the afternoon. Which seems to mostly consist of her typing on the computer or talking with Dad and Uncle Charlie. So no nap time with me.

I really don't think this is acceptable. So can those of you with more experience tell me who I submit my complaint form to?

*sigh*

*kissey face*
-Fiona The Disgruntled

PS O Hai, Kim. Welcome back. Hope you are enjoying yourself. So sad that your office doesn't give you something better than IE 6.0...

Wordless Wednesday: TaiChi the Optimist

The weekend in review

Okay, it will take me forever to catch up on all these bloggies because Mom was Too Tired to turn on the computer yesterday. (Except to go on to eBay….) Just because she was baking in the sun all day Sunday. Heehee. Get it. Sun? Sunday? Heh.

Note from Fi’s Mom: Sunday was a great event, the course was technical and challenging, and I learned a lot, even if I hit a lot of cones, but sitting on asphalt in an open-cockpit car in 100+ temps? Ugh. I had other drivers who were spraying down their tires actually spray me, as well… All the stock car people with air conditioning were mocking me…. *sigh* At least my loving husband – who was working while I was driving – brought me lots of water. It was still MIGHTY hot. Anyhoo… Back to Fi.

I don’t know what Mom was complaining about. TaiChi and Bufus and I were Quite Comfy in the air conditioned House With Wheels.

And I had a great view on my teevee/living room window.

So I got to see the course.

And watch Dad standing around ‘working’. (He's the guy in the green vest. That doesn't look like work to me....)

And Mom hitting cones. (There aren’t any pictures, but boy… Mom hit A LOT of cones. And I talked to some of the other autocross doggies, and they say that you really ARE NOT supposed to hit cones. So my Mom is doing something wrong. According to Dad and Uncle Charlie, too, she is doing something wrong. But she’s getting better. So they say. Because she had 1 run (out of 8) where she didn’t hit any cones….). She also spun the car once. Which was kinda of cool, but I guess also not what you want to do…

Fi’s Mom here again: In my defense, my driver’s license is only 2 years old. Really. So I’m still on the low end of the learning curve. And here I am (below), NOT hitting cones (in the picture above, yeah, um... well, there was supposed to be a cone next to the one lying down...). At this particular moment.

In this picture, Mom is Going The Wrong Direction!!!!! I think the course worker is trying to tell her which way to go!!! Silly Mom; there are cones on the course that tell you what direction to go....

Dad drove really well.

And Uncle Charlie won the whole thing. Of course, he should, as he’s the National Champion, In This Car. So he should be fast.

And at the lunch break? Uncle Charlie’s kids came in the House With Wheels, and I got to try to steal pieces of their lunch (much to their dismay…. But I had fun!). I wasn’t successful, BTW. But neither was TaiChi, and she is the Master of Wheedling Food Off People, so I don’t feel too bad that I wasn’t successful in getting some lunch from someone.

Here's another autocross doggie..... Check out that tongue!

Anyway, I will try to keep up with bloggies now. Although Mom is hogging the computer again – she has been ‘writing’ – something that she hasn’t done in A Long Time, and so she’s sucking up all my computer time. I may have to talk to her about my own computer.

P.S. From Fi's Mom; the driving pictures were not taken by my, but by other photographers whose watermarks are on the pictures. Thanks to "Ray the Rat" for the hard work- I'm not trying to steal credit!

Back in the House With Wheels

Ohboy! Ohboy! Ohboy! We are back in The House With Wheels. I LOVE The House With Wheels. I don’t know why, exactly; maybe it’s because we’re all so close – nobody is ever very far away – or maybe it’s because Mom and Dad seem to like it so much, or maybe it’s because I’ve got this really great live-action tee-vee (Mom calls it the living room window), or maybe because TaiChi and I get to share a dog bed, or maybe it’s because Bufus is always close by. I do know that at the race track, I like walking around in the evening, after all the racing is done for the day, when it is quiet. And I like the excitement of races, with all the people and the cars. Suffice it to say, I really like The House With Wheels.

Here I am, taking a break from my navigating duties (someone has to program the GPS thingy, right?!?)

And here I am resting, because navigating is Hard Work!

Then we got out to the race track (sorry, Pugs and Bugg, this isn't the racing kind like in your town, although the race track we are at hosts all sorts of LeMans class stuff, and big time motorcycle races - but Mom and Dad do this thing where they drive around cones in parking lots - Mom says you're not supposed to hit cones, but from the number of cones she hits, she's either not very good, or you really are supposed to hit cones....).

And it is HOT!
Don't mind the thing that say our grey tank is 187% full - our sensor has a bit of an 'issue'.

But Dad got us parked and hooked up.
And Mom took me out on a short walk.

While Bufus got dinner (his dining room is under the sink),

and TaiChi got comfortable.
Note that Mom brought lots of toys for me!!!

More later. It is starting to cool down and I want to go on a walk!!!

*kissey face*
-Fiona

Yes, I am still alive

Although if you had to rely on my Mom's typing, you'd never know it. *sheesh*

She has been (and I quote) "super busy the last couple of days". Yeah. Clearly. No pictures. Short walks. Fetching in the backyard rather than at the park. Hello?!? Remember me? Your Daughter?!?

*sigh*

And now she's getting ready for a car race tomorrow. At least we are taking The House With Wheels, so it's not like I'll be left behind. And TaiChi and Bufus will come with me, so I won't be lonely while they are off doing their silly car thing tomorrow.

Mom PROMISES me that she'll give me some computer time to catch up with everyone, and to get a better post up, but, well, I'll believe that when I see it. In the meantime, I'm going to go see if I can sneak up and eat the cat food!

*kissey face*
-Fiona

A stop before heading back home

Petey is a bright guy. Not that I'm telling you anything you don't already know, but I'm going to reiterate it for effect. In his inestimable wisdom, he suggested that before AirFiona makes the trip back to the Colonies, I might see about hitching a ride in the Tour de France.

Originally, I had planned on going to the Tour to help Lance Armstrong with the extra bacon grease that I had left over from the British Open, but apparently the International Cycling Union has some Pretty Strict Rules - about pretty much everything, it turns out. And bacon grease is high on the list of no-no's. Right after amphetamines, it turns out.

So, I was about to give up on the Tour, even though I knew that Mom and Dad would be watching every second of the teevee coverage to see me. And then, Petey gave me the brilliant idea of a bicycle basket!!! I just needed to find a rider who would be interested in a little extra ballast for the downhills.

I put in a bunch of phone calls, and called in a few debts, and was finally put in touch with Johan Bruyneel, who thought that Lance Armstong, who is such a good descender, wouldn't mind a little extra weight on the downhills. The downside, of course, was that he was going to have to haul me up the hills, but after doing some advanced math and applying some slightly questionable laws of physics, we all decided that I would be more of an advantage on the downhills than I would be a disadvantage on the uphills.

So!!!! I had The Basket Lady overnight me a bicycle basket, and the team Astana techs got it all set up on Lance's bike. It looks a little unwieldy, but it's really WAY more aerodynamic than it looks. Besides, with my very aerodynamic schnozz, I am able to help create a super-aerodynamic position for descending big hills.

And boy was it AWESOME!!!! I got to ride with Lance. And give him directions. And talk strategy. And help him finish his lunch! This was So Cool that I think I might stay in Europe a little bit longer!!!!



That said, I'm a little worried that I might have jinxed Tom Watson, so I think I'll give Lance a break tomorrow, and see if I can just ride along in a team car. Or work with the commentators...

*kissey face*
-Fiona, the almost-in-the-yellow-jersey-Goldendoodle

Heading home (for now)

Alas, the Royal and Ancient Golf Club apparently has Rules about slathering golf balls in bacon grease. And since I was the one who had applied said aforementioned bacon grease, I was banned from the grounds of Turnberry. Me? Banned? What are they thinking? The presence of my gorgeous countenance alone should have upped viewer-ship to the levels they would have had if Tiger had made the cut. *sigh. Anyhoo, I did the best I could, rooting for Tom for a distance. And frankly, for An Old Geezer (Dad takes a bit of offense at this, as he’s only a half decade younger than Tom Watson – but, as I point out, while Mr. Watson had a hip replaced, he hasn’t broken his neck…) he did fantastically! Yes, I would have liked to have seen him win (and I won’t lie - I would have liked a chance to pose with the Claret Jug!), but Stewart Cink is a nice guy, too, and he did play well.

Since I’m still in Europe, I’d like to go help Lance Armstrong, but apparently, the bicycling people have even more rules than the golf people about bacon grease. So, I’ll be winding up the rubber band on AirFiona, and heading home.

Expect lots of hiking pictures, and pictures of me with my new short summer ‘do’. Mom has been a little slow in the photo-taking. She must be sick, or something!

And lots of pictures of me napping after my hikes!

In the meantime, I’m thinking about my next trip on AirFiona. I haven’t decided on my next destination, but after my brief trip to Europe, it might be time to go back and spent a little more time ‘on the continent’. I’ll keep you posted. In the meantime, here are some pictures of my siblings…

Bufus, with the best sun-spot in the house!

There's a reason why TaiChi is often called the Dust Bunny!

*kissey face*

-Fiona

A Brief Break From Petey's Wedding

Since I was in Scotland for Petey's wedding I thought I might take a brief break before the festivities to make a trip up to Turnberry, to catch a little of the British Open golf tournament.

AirFiona is back in action, although I think the autopilot system needs a little adjusting. I programmed it to set me down on the old landing strip used by the Royal Air Force in World War II. I ended up, however, finding myself a little off course, and heading straight for Ailsa Craig!!!!


Luckily, a kindly seeker of curling stones was able to give me a ride to the mainland.


And thanks to Petey's Highly Competent Concierge Service (well, Mostly Competent - they did let Mango drive, after all...but I wasn't in that car, so who am I to make waves?), who have all been dedicated to making sure that all of his guests have the Best Time Possible at his wedding, I got Special Privileges at the British Open.

Given the number of lost balls on the course, Tom Watson decided that having a part-retriever at his side would help him in case of emergency.


Listening to my advice, Tom slathered his golf balls in bacon grease, and I was able to locate all of his errant shots. (Okay, so I let the officials and volunteers help, but in the dicey moments, the smell of bacon made sure that he hasn't lost a ball since I arrived!)

I also got to help him read his putts, given that I've got Superior Eyesight.

And yet again I think I did a spectacular job. (In all fairness to Mr. Watson, he was able to putt the ball where I told him to, so it wasn't just me, but a combination of my eagle eyes and his precise execution.)

We make such a great team that I didn't even have to be in the grandstand on the 18th hole.


I don't know if I'll be able to stick around for his round tomorrow - after all, I am in Scotland for Petey's wedding. But if I can sneak away for a little bit, I'll be back to help Mr. Watson in the final round. Because if he wins, I'll bet that he'll let me pose with the Claret Jug!

I'll keep you posted. (And thanks again, Petey's Concierges for getting me the Primo Job at the British Open!)

*kissey face*
-Fiona

It's HOT....

It's hot. Today it is 90 degrees. For those of us who live in the mountains and don't have central air conditioning, that's Really Hot. And I'm getting a little wooly. So Mom says no more hikes until after I get 'summerized' tomorrow afternoon. She says if I'm panting just lying in the kitchen, I probably would be pretty hot on the trail. So, I'm going to go short for summer!

So I'm going to nap. Because it's too hot to type.

FYI. The is the method approved by the American Association of Hot Hounds (Aahh...) for cooling off one's belly.

*kissey face*
-Fiona

More Pressies for Everyone, and The Park

Yesterday was a day of excitement! We got a Big Box from Drs. Foster and Smith. And I know that these people sell dog toys. And treats. Grandpa says they sell a whole bunch of other stuff, too. But I’m not really interested in stuff for ponds. Sorry, Grandpa!

So, I KNEW when Mom opened the box that there would be all sorts of goodies for me! Okay, and to be fair, for TaiChi, and even, get this- for Bufus!

Mom and Dad got me one of those big orange monkey things. And then proceeded to amuse themselves…..

*sigh* Look at what I have to do to amuse these humans….

Note from Fi's Mom: Heh. If you notice they both have the same facial expression, right down to the tongues!

Still, the monkey is pretty cool!



TaiChi got a bunch of treaties. Although she showed a brief interest in my monkey. Luckily, however, unlike the Mango-PeeWee dynamic, TaiChi just investigated and then moved along.


Now on to Bufus. From what I have seen on teevee, Cats Don’t Like Water. Yet Bufus has been seen in the shower. And has actually been known to demand (on pretty much a daily basis, if you must know) that the shower be turned on for him. So Mom thought that he might like his own water fountain.


Note from Fi’s Mom: So far, no one has actually seen Bufus playing in/drinking the water, but the water levels have been dropping (and refilled). So we’re guessing that he likes it. But he still likes his showers. So maybe the water fountain hasn’t completely fulfilled his need for running water. Who knows? He’s a Very Strange Cat.

Anyhoo, after much playing with Pressies (thanks Granny and Grandpa!), Mom and Dad decided that I should go to The Park. Notice that I say “Mom and Dad decided” – me? Eh. It was hot. And I need a haircut. And there was another dog there. And I just wasn’t interested in the whole Park Experience. But Mom used the flashy box anyway, and got some pictures.

Note from Fi’s Mom. Today was Really Hot for us – it was in the high 80s, and Fi is starting to get wooly again. Although I’m looking at the weather from where we were in Arizona this winter… 116 today. Ugh. Regardless…. Fi needs a haircut. Although it was pretty amusing with the other dog at the park; she’s not socialized with other dogs, and we didn’t see the dog (he was down the hill by the tennis court) until he started barking – Fi dashed away until she realized that she was Much Faster than the other dog, and then went chasing after him, knowing full well that he couldn’t catch her. Luckily, there were no dog-on-dog incidents, and the other dog was brought into the tennis court, so Fi had the opportunity to completely ignore the toy thrown for her….

Note, I have completely passed the toy here....

Heh. Here I've got Bell's Flying Butt Syndrome. I think it might be contagious!


Ear Flappage!

Now it's time to nap while Mom and Dad watch these people on two-wheeled thingys riding around France and stuff....

*kissey face*
-Fiona

An award (that Mom has been very slow in acknowledging)

Mom has been a little slow on updating the award thing. And I think she lost one in the whirlwind of my birthday celebration. So I apologize (and feel free to leave Mom a note so she can go get it… has anyone noticed how HARD it is to get good help?!?). Anyhoo, I got a fantastic award from the vastly intelligent, super adventurous, larger-than-life Dory. Go check her out. I’ll wait. She’s a dynamo in a small package.

I believe there are some rule that are attached to this award:

1. Acknowledge the person who gave you an award. That would be Dory. Thank you!!!

2. Copy the logo and Place it on your blog. vide supra*

3. Link to the person who nominated you for this award. vide supra

4. Note 7 things about your self that people might find interesting. vide infra**

5. Nominate 7 Kreativ Blogger. Hmmm… I’m not sure who hasn’t got this. However, I’m going to list 7 people who deserve it, whether they’ve already gotten it or not.

6. Post link to the 7 bloggers you nominated. vide supra

7. Leave a comment on each of the blog you nominated, letting 'em know they have been nominated. Again, I think everyone I’ve listed has already gotten this, so I’m not going to leave a note. Because I’ll feel like a doofus.

7 Things About Me That May or May Not Be Interesting

1. When I was 9 weeks old, Mom and Dad took me to the Solo Nationals in Topeka, Kansas (in the House With Wheels). I spent most of my days there next to our car trailer. Because of this, the sound of diesel trucks don’t bother me, nor do the sound of big HP engines. In fact, I rather like the rumble of big engine. I also like the smell of fresh rubber. And high-octane gasoline.

2. I’m pretty anti-social. Mostly because I’m shy. I don’t really know how to act around other dogs. I’m working on this, though, because I’d love to play with friends. And I want to be a Good Example when I am an Older Sister.

3. *shhhh* I have a crush on Mango The Relentlessly Huge. He’s smart, he’s funny, he’s such a Deep Thinker, he runs his household, and well, he’s Relentlessly Huge. But don’t tell him. I think he likes someone else, and I’d hate to find out that he doesn’t like me….

4. I don’t like to swim. I’ve got webbed feet, and (Mom says), I’m super strong. But water? Not so much. Although I like to go ‘fishing’ for ice cubes in the water dish. Does that count?

5. TaiChi is My Hero. I wish I was a wise and smart and crafty as she is. I know it comes with age, but she is One Sharp Cookie. And can sniff out a cookie from a mile away. Which is a skill that should Never Be Under-estimated. And she's venerable. And Knows Everything. Including how to get Dad to slip her food when I'm (supposedly) not looking. This is almost as good a skill as Bufus' ability to get Mom or Dad to turn on the shower just because he meows. So as a corollary, Bufus is also My Hero. He has totally got Mom and Dad trained. I wish I had the skills of either of these two!

6. The Best Place in the World To Sleep is on either Mom or Dad’s pillow. Okay, so there isn’t much room left for either of them. But that sounds like a personal problem to me; I've got PLENTY of room.

7. I am The Luckiest Dog In The World. Of all of the puppies in the world, Mom and Dad picked ME!!! I’ve got a GREAT little big sister, and a cat brother who keeps me in line. And the Best. Parents. Ever. They’d go to the ends of the earth for me. And what more could ANYONE ask for?

7 People Who I Think Deserve This, Whether They’ve Received It Already or Not

1. Dennis the Vizsla. Either Dennis just finds himself at the Wrong Place At The Wrong Time a lot, or he is the master of creatio ex nihilo*** Either way, he know how to make the best of any situation.

2. Hero the Sharpei. Here’s a guy who knows how to live life. And he's handsome.

3. Honey The Great Dane. She’s not just creative, but she can DANCE. Seriously. If you haven't seen Honey, you haven't seen a Very Agile, Very Big Dog.

4. Lorenza. I am SURE she has this already, but her closet alone makes her worthy of yet another mention of a Creative Award. This girl is definitely The Best Dressed Girl I know.

5. Mango. And no, this isn’t because I’ve got a crush on him. I’ve got a crush on him because he’s smart and funny, and REALLY creative (It’s the egg-before-the-chicken syndrome). (See This Post as an example of how that ginormous brain of his works.

6. Petey. Duh. This pretty much goes without saying!

7. Secret Schnoodle. With a statement of: “We are a schnoodle and 3 standard poodles. Don't judge us,” How could you go wrong? And yes, I’m biased toward ‘doodles’. Can’t help it. It’s just breeding! ;-)

Anyhoo, I’m not going to leave comments because I think that pretty much everyone already has this award.

*kissey face*
-Fiona


*means “see above” (blame Mom – she’s got some silly degree that uses Latin)
** means “see below” (again, blame Mom – far too educated for her own good)
***means 'creating something from nothing' (did I mention that you should blame Mom for me knowing all of these useless Latin phrases? Maybe they’ll come in handy somewhere, sometime….)

Pee Ess. Mom has Some More pictures of me with some of my new pressies. She says she’ll post them tomorrow. (Although Mom sort of operates on the ‘Redwood Time Frame: “a day, a week, a year, a decade; who can tell the difference?” So who knows when she'll get the pictures posted... *sigh*)

Wordless Wednesday: More Pressies!

Birthday Weekend Recap

My birthday weekend is drawing to a close. But Mom says that there are some pressies for me “In The Mail”, so apparently my birthday isn’t quite over yet. I could really get into this Everlasting-Pressie-Delivery thing.

BTW, this post is very photo-intensive. Because Mom seems to REALLY like using the flashy box. (And this is only a mere fraction of the pictures she took.)

But it has been a Busy Weekend. When I last left you, TaiChi and I had foodables. Very tasty “Peanut Butter Banana Snaps”. I’ve already told Mom to order some more of these. Like yesterday. Because I think TaiChi might eat them all if I’m not paying attention. She’s like that – very single-minded when it comes to food….

Anyway, after the foodables yesterday, we went on a hike. TaiChi is too old and completely uninterested in the hiking thing. She is a princess, and princesses apparently don’t hike. They stroll.

It was a great hike, although Mom ‘rolled’ her ankle a bit (she’s fine), so she said that we’d take today off. Instead, she and Dad went off on their two-wheeled thingys. I still don’t get this, but whatever. And how, exactly does this celebrate my birthday? Well, Mom and Dad seem to be happier after they do this two-wheeled thing, and if they are happy then it means more celebrating for me.

So, when Mom and Dad got back, I got to go zoom around the backyard. (And as we all know, Zooms Are Good.)

Then, Mom decided it was time for Pressies. Finally! What does a girl have to do around here to get pressies? Apparently wait for Mom to decide that It Is Time.

Here they all are, lined up together: a fish, a squeaky hamburger, a ‘Squido’ and a stuffie piece of birthday cake.

The ‘Squido’ was my immediate favorite.

Although the cake toy was pretty cool, too!

nom, nom, nom

The Squido was my favorite, though, so it didn’t last all that long. Oh well. Toys are meant to be destroyed, right?

Then Mom said that it was time to have cake. Cake! But if I was going to get cake, I was going to have to at least TRY to wear my party hat. Given that I’m not Super Excited about having Things On My Head, this was a multi-person project.

I finally let them get one decent picture. Mostly because Mom wouldn't let me have cake until she got a picture of me with the party hat on....

And then immediately tried to hide my embarrassment. C’mon, guys! I’m a dignified dog – do I REALLY have to be subjected to this hat thing?!? Although Mom argued that if even Bufus would wear a hat – under protest though it was – that I should at least try… Yeah. Whatever. Let’s get to the cake.

The cake.

Note from Fi’s Mom: The cake was supposed to say ‘Happy Birthday Fiona’. In all fairness to Waggy Tail Treats, they got the cake to us on time, and had marked the box marked ‘Fragile’ in several spots. In equal fairness to the postperson who delivers our mail: if you have to wedge a box in the mailbox So Hard that you actually move the mailbox, The Box Probably Doesn’t Fit and should be delivered to the doorstep. Especially if it says ‘Fragile’ on it. I understand that this means that you actually have to get out of your car, but it’s not like it was raining. Or snowing. Or more than 70s degrees out. Would it have killed you? You DID, however, manage to knock most of the lettering off the cake. Good thing we know how to use our imaginations (and already knew what the cake was supposed to say….*ahem*

Okay, okay. Enough with the pictures. Let’s EAT!!!

nom, nom, nom!

So, for a recap: 1) I don’t like things on my head, 2) Bufus is far more tolerant than any cat should have to be, 3) TaiChi is a princess, and deserves to wear a tiara, 4) cake is still quite tasty, even if it doesn’t look right (and 4a – even if Mom and Dad think that the cake “tastes like dirt”), 5) since we dogs don’t get as many birthdays in our lifetimes, EVERY birthday should last for several days, and 6) birthdays are So Cool that we should get them every couple of months (although we could keep the party hat thing as a once-a-year, or possibly a once-in-a-lifetime event).

BTW, thanks Granny and Grandpa for the Drs. Foster and Smith gift certificate. I don’t really know what a gift certificate is, but Mom says “It has already been put to good use”. Whatever that means!

And thanks to everyone for all the birthday wishes! And I’m going to adopt Petey’s motto: "You're only young once...but you can be immature for a lifetime!" I can totally be immature!

*big kissey face to EVERYONE who made my birthday weekend so spectacular (and special kissey faces to TaiChi and Bufus who celebrated along with me) Thank You!!!!!*

-Fiona, the Yearling