Sunday, March 14, 2010

Sun Tzu and the Art of Bitey-Face, Part 1

Before I entered my formal edjumacation at Petco U., I was home schooled. Which, among other things, included a lot of hours spent watching the History Channel while Mom and Dad were off bye-sickle-ing and car racing and doing whatever else it is that they do. The History Channel is great because you can learn all sorts of cool historical stuff, like how to build your own trebuchet and why Howard Carter is responsible for most of the Mummy movies . But I also learned about 'The Art of War' that this Chinese guy named Sun Tzu wrote about a million years ago (which would be about the time TaiChi was entering middle age). Very clever guy, this guy Sun. (Or is it Tzu? I get confused that way.)

Anyhoo, with the arrival of the Puppy Monster, I have decided that I should return to my studies of military tactics, and will be presenting to you, over time, my interpretation of Sun Tzu's work. I call it "The Art of Bitey-Face".

1: Other conditions being equal, if one force is hurled against another ten times its size, the result will be the flight of the former.

2:The skillful fighter puts himself into a position which makes defeat impossible, and does not miss the moment for defeating the enemy.

3:Ponder and deliberate before you make a move.

4: Reduce the hostile chiefs by inflicting damage on them; and make trouble for them, and keep them constantly engaged;

The 5th and Final Lesson of the Day: All armies prefer high ground to low.

I have to go back and study the book a bit more, because I know that he has a big section on maneuvering, but I can't remember what he has to say about levitation...

Thus concludes today's lesson on the Art of Bitey-Face.

*kissey face*


Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

I'm sure she'll be ready to throw the white flag!

Khyra & Khousin Merdie

hero said...

When is the first intake for the school of bitey-face going to be opened... we like to enroll in the art too... you're a master, Fiona.

Licks, hero

Dennis the Vizsla said...

hello fiona its dennis the vizsla dog hay wow yoo ar a regyoolar joshua lawrence chamberlain!!! ok bye

Mango said...

That is very helpful for sure. I am going to practice my bitey face skills today.


Ms. ~K said...

So wise beyond your years, Master!

mayziegal said...

Oh, this is very very Most Good advice. I can't wait to learn more!

Wiggles & Wags,

Twinkietinydog said...

BOL great post! The line about Tai Chi being a million years old got us howling. Can't wait for lesson #2!

Lorenza said...

Hi, Fiona!
Your today's lesson on the Art of Bitey-Face is pawesome.
Do you think I can apply that for my bitey-face games with my mom??
Kisses and hugs

Mack and Sally Ann said...

Wow, you are such a great teacher. I know you will defeat her with those skills.
Sally Ann

Sierra Rose said...

Bitey face class! Wootwoot. Love the levitation photo. Bet that's a good maneuver for some more or other!

Hugs and snaggle-tooth kisses,
Sierra Rose

Abby said...

Hi, Fiona...

I'm gonna start watching that History Channel, too..

I think this might come in handy the next time I go Squirrel Hunting, but the always seem to get the high ground first...

Oh...And, tell your Mom when she is making the toast for My Barkday that I like mine with peanut butter...Thanks!!

Abby xxxooo

The Thundering Herd said...

Such a deep and philosophical thinker you are (boy, did that sound like Yoda). We are sure Queen Natasha the Evil studied the book too.

1000 Goldens said...

I like how you ponder and deliberate. With a cute little puppy at the tip of your nose...