Thursday, March 18, 2010

Me Thinks Something is Rotten, and I Don't Think It Is The Trash (for once)

I must act fast, or I shall find that I have become Mango. No, not in a relentlessly huge, goobery, languorous, torpid, but magnificently so sort of way, but in a my-bloggie-is-being-taken-over-by-my-younger-sibling sort of way. Yesterday’s post? Who let the little rat near the computer? Not me, I tell you. Sure, when she gets old enough to have something worth saying, I might give her the opportunity to dip her unnaturally large toe in the water, but until then, nope. Look at poor Mango; master of his domain, until he put forth enormous effort to make the 2010 MangoMinster the raging success that it was, and he comes back to discover that his little brother has usurped his bloggie, and he’s stuck with unflattering picture of himself being posted, and has to suffer the indignity of the name of his bloggie being changed to "Mango and Dexter's Great Adventures". Poor guy! . This borders on the level of political upheaval in a banana republic (and I’m not talking about a store full of over-priced clothes for people who want to look like they have slightly more money that then people who shop at The Gap).

And I, for one, will not stand for it in Fionaland. Okay, technically it is TaiChiLand, but she has relinquished most of her power and public appearances in order than she may seek a More Perfect Nap. When it comes down to it, though, she still makes the important decisions, the red telephone rings directly through to her, and it is her voice alone that allows access to the nuclear arsenal launch codes.

*Betcha you didn’t think we had a nuclear arsenal, did you? Yeah well, this is Utah, and you can own pretty much any weapon in production, as long as you don’t point it directly at your neighbor’s living room window.*

*ahem*

I will quash any uprisings with impunity.


I’m just saying.


And Farley? I love you dearly, but your stated affections for the Little Monster my dear sister border on treason. I’m just saying. ;-) I know that it is easy to get suckered in by those Cute Puppy Pictures, but trust me, underneath that fuzzy exterior beats the heart of a monster. So don’t let down your guard!

Gah. Someone seems to keep hacking into my site and posting pictures of the Demon Spawn.

Besides, the Little Beast can’t even get up on the bed on her own without a child step.


And she hides under the bed to get away from the Jaws of Doom. Hee-hee.

Until she can get up on the bed by herself, and she out-weighs me, she won’t have anything to say. Trust me.

Even if I have to sit on her. Because we in Fionaland do not believe in "freedom of the press" (unless it is my freedom to press Abby into the mud/snowbank)....


And now that I have made that clear, we’ll return to our regularly scheduled blogging. Stay tuned!

*kissey face*

-Fiona, Supreme Dictator of Fionaland for Life

25 comments:

The Two Country Poodles said...

You better set a password on your blog to keep that thing away from it. Moms let little sisters do just about anything.


Wags and Licks,
Mollie Jo & Bobo

Persephone and Buster said...

WHOA FIONA (S.D. of F.L.for L.)!!! just a bit hostile eh? maybe it's time to negotiate a test band treaty??? uh... ya know somewhere, sometime, that cute little urchin will get big...and strong, and won't hide anymore... what's the plan then? just trying to make sure you're not digging yourself in to far.. i mean.. you may learn to like her even. like who else could you pommel into a snow bank or terrorize? this could actually be "fun". think big sister...you know an example -- hee hee... you could be warping the little bugger instead of disliking her -- uh not liking -- uh hating her. teaching her all the stuff you can't get away with! i mean, experiment! this to shall pass.
theBUSTER, Ms.Blue & Ms.Persephone

Ms. ~K said...

We're afraid the puppy cuteness will prevail!
The sooner you accept that, the easier your life will be!
Sorry, but we're just telling ya' like it is!
Licks and sniffs,
Zack, Sassy and Buddy

The Thundering Herd said...

We thinks you doth protest too much - or something like that. Face it, Fiona, you like the little rat.

1000 Goldens said...

Fiona, I will do my best not to be snowed by the cute pictures of the fluffy beast! Good luck keeping her off your computer :)

Twinkietinydog said...

Yay, for once (it's terribly rare) I was right about Abby hiding from "the jaws of death" :) As for today's post, I find it very upsetting. Mango is not the only one dethroned of his blog by a sibling. There's the recent case of Cocorue and baby Tiffy, there's my sissy who now takes over all my Fridays...and many more. What's next? Oh, yeah, Ciara is going to take over Thunder and Phantom's bloggie I believe.
You made it all clear to us, Fiona. Just make sure Abby got it too. Bitey face wasn't enough for me.
Twink!

Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

I really think the two of woo should realise it is in your best interest to team up to get the PAWRENTS!

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra & Khousin Merdie

BRUTUS said...

I'm with ya, Fi!! Gotta nip this problem in the bud (or the butt, whichever is more convenient at the moment...). Although Khyra does have a point - if you and the monster combine forces, you could be unstoppable! Bwuahhhaahhahahah!

Ahem...

Snorts-
Brutus the Frenchie

Lorenza said...

Hi, Fiona!
Yes... you sound like the Supreme Dictator of Fionaland!
Haaa!
But I know you really enjoy having Abby with you!
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

Dennis the Vizsla said...

hello fiona its dennis the vizsla dog hay yes yoo hav to nip this stuf in the bud like the time that tucker tuk over my blog it took me like a week to git it bak!!! stand firm!!! ok bye

hero said...

Long live the Kin... errr Queen Fiona!

Licks, hero

Ginger Jasper said...

Fiona I know that you are queen woofie, but I will so have to say that little sister is awful cute.. For a woofie that is.. Hugs GJ xx

Mango said...

You go girl! Way to put that round puppy mess in her place. I say move her bed step so you have the comfy bed all to yourself.

Slobbers,
Mango

mayziegal said...

Psst...Fiona...I'm a little skeered of you.

Wiggles & Wags,
Mayzie

Dog Foster Mom said...

Good job keeping the cute little monster in line. No telling what would happen if she took over! It's good that TaiChi has you around to rule while she's sleeping!

Clive said...

Fiona

We think you'll get used to her! A bit like Tinkerbell grew on me! (eventually!!!)

take care
Clive and the NSLM

Mack and Sally Ann said...

Fiona,
Be careful, you must remember, one day she will be bigger than you. Things will get better, I promise.
Sally Ann

Amber and Nala said...

Uh oh....trouble is on the horizon! Sometimes ya just have to show those little whippersnappers who's boss...I totally understand!

Nala

MONA AND MOMMY TOO!! said...

Oh Fiona, Abby is cute butr make sure she remembers who is the dictator of Fionaland.

{{{hguggies}}}..Mona

Marvin -The Hollow Hound said...

phew! This most made me realise how lucky I am to be an Only Dog!

You are going to have your work cut out to stop the Banana Republic Uprising I can bark to you!!

Just keep calm and carry on......it is your blog, so let everydog know just who is boss!!

love and licks, Marvin xxxxx

Marvin -The Hollow Hound said...

oooops my paws are too big for the keyboard (that was suupposed to be "post" not "most" in my last comment!!

Abby said...

Hi, Fiona...

She is pretty cute...

And she has an estra special name, too...

Abby xxxooo

Kari in WeHo said...

you go! put that munchkin in her place! we all know this is your blog

Sierra Rose said...

Wootwoot Fiona! Stand your ground pal! But, your little sister is super cute, we must say! :)

Hugs and snaggle-tooth kisses,
Sierra Rose

Daisy Dog said...

We tagged YOU not that little uh sister for a photo meme!