38. Thirty-eight. 38, 37, 39, 43; whatever. Trite as it is, age is just a number. My husband, who just recently turned 55 looks like he’s in his mid-40s. If that. It’s disgusting, actually – and genetic; his 83 year old mother looks better than many women in their 60s. And actually, because people typically think that he is younger than he is, they seem to think that I’m older than I am; maybe because a 17 year age gap is unusual. Is it? No idea. Or maybe I just look older than I am. And while I’ve got a few laugh lines, I’ve got no issues with them. And I don’t think that I look a whole lot older than I am. But who’s to say? I mean, what does 38 look like? Can you tell me? I can tell you about 15 different examples just from people I know – all of whom are totally different.
Anyhoo. I don’t really believe in ‘birthdays’ anyway – a birthday – a marking of a passage of a person’s life – can happen whenever; in years where you learn a lot, you might have a few birthdays. In years where things just remain the same, you might not have a birthday, in the personal growth sense of things.
This year? A definite birthday. This last year had a lot of ups and downs, with a lot of challenges, and a lot of great experiences. I am one hell of a different person than I was a year ago today.
And very glad for it. I could throw around a lot of clichés – “That which does not kill us makes us strong”; “Every challenge brings a new opportunity”; “Life is a process”; etc., etc. All I can say is that I am a better person than I was a year ago. And stronger (it’s that Jesuit thing…. St. Augustine was on to something there…). And so yes, this is a birthday. And one that will be celebrated for the fact that I am so much more than I was a year ago.
Okay, so that is all cryptic and esoteric. Aren’t all ‘deep thoughts’? *grin. Seriously though, I’m thrilled to be who I am, and feel luckier than hell that I am who I am.
Am I going to celebrate wildly? Eh, other than maybe buying a bottle of 18 year old scotch (Gary and I have been talking about doing the Boston Legal thing where William Shatner and James Spader sit on the balcony at the end of the episode and have a scotch and discuss the universe – we’ll have everything except the view of Boston – we’ll have the Colorado River sunset instead ), some crab legs for dinner, and a couple of pieces of cake for dessert, I am anticipating a very quiet day. (The weather is supposed to be windy and wet in the morning, which will make it perfect for cross-stitching and watching Fiona bounce off the couch while we watch the Masters.) Quiet is good. I’ve had my learning experiences for the year and am very happy to celebrate them with a quiet day.
It’s funny. After 18+ years of skiing on my birthday, I am SO looking forward to spending my birthday (although because of the weather, it will be the day after) in 85 degree weather, on a bike ride, or kayaking on the Colorado River. I’m STILL not missing the snow, kids!