Sunday, January 1, 2012

Mango Minster Entry: Abby the Working Stiff

*sigh*  The Hippobottomus wanted to write this post herself, and while I am a bit leery of setting some sort of precedent, I have to agree that she is the best one to write this entry.  -Fiona

HI!!!  It’s Abby here.  Yes, it’s actually me!  I was able to wrest control of the computer away from my older sister long enough to post my Mango Minster entry.   It took some work, but I was able to persuade Fi  that I could best present my case for being a Working Stiff.

I know, you're thinking, "Abby, we know working Goldendoodles, and you are no Clive."  Well, I agree, I am no Clive - but then I don't think there are too many dogs in the world that are close to being like Clive.  But, I am a Working Stiff nonetheless.   If you look at some of our other bloggie posts, I  know it all looks like fun and games, but trust me, if it weren't for me, our entire household would grind to a halt.  Allow me to give you some examples and I think you'll agree, I'm not just a cute lay-about, I WORK.

First, I have spent my Entire Life trying to train Mom how to feed turkey hotdogs.  I started training Mom when I was a wee spud of 10 weeks old, and have been working with her ever since.  Mom is a bit dense when it comes to turkey hotdog dispensing, so trust me when I tell you this is WORK.


Here, at a mere 12 weeks old, with the help of Jessi the Turkey Hotdog Goddess, I am demonstrating the Proper Turkey Hotdog Delivery Technique.

As I have mentioned, Mom is not a quick study, and I have spent almost two years training Mom.


 


This has not been an easy process, and I fear that I will be spending my entire life giving Mom 'refresher training' in how to feed turkey hotdogs.  

But I do far more work than just that.  Here are some bullet-points from my resume:

I've tried to teach Mom how to throw a tennis ball (that was a bit of a failure, but you know what they say about silk purses and sow ears...)



I let Mom know when it it time to mow the lawn.

Dr. Livingstone, I presume?

And I do my part with the yardwork by helping with the pruning!

Check out ALL my pruning work!

I take care of Dad when he's sick, by being a Puppy Hat (TM).



I hold down the snow.


I hold down the floor.



I humor Mom with her crazy 'photo ops'



I provide comic relief when needed.




I make sure my parents get regular exercise.  


Likewise, I make sure my sister gets plenty of exercise.




I protect the property from tree rats and other miscreants.



I make sure Mom updates our bloggie at least every once in a while.



I finally crate-trained Mom.




I make sure Mom eats her veggies.


And I do tons of other stuff around the house, like, I've eliminated Mom's need for an alarm clock - 5:25am is a perfect time to get up; it's not my fault that I don't know which days are 'weekends' or 'holidays' and which days are 'work days'....

Most importantly, I am a foil for my sister.  If I weren't around, I have a feeling Fi would be called a 'rotten dog' on occasion.  But with me around, Fi is always The Good Dog, because I have generously taken over the role of 'Rotten Dog' all so my sister will shine. I'm the one who tries to run down the hill to greet doggies on the street so Fi doesn't have to.  I'm the one who runs off with the tennis ball while Fi stands around looking well-behaved in comparison.  I'm the one who barks at potential intruders when they are 2 blocks away, so Mom and Dad have plenty of time to prepare.   I'm the one who rolls in poop at daycare and has to be given an 'emergency bath' while Fi looks fresh as a daisy.

I've got my 'Bad Dog' face on here to emphasize the point.

It's not easy being the Bad Dog, but I'm willing to make the effort, so Fi looks good.  All the time. And it takes work for me to be Bad, since my natural inclination is toward cuteness.  It's also not easy making sure everyone in the house does what they are supposed to while also presenting my sister in the best possible light, but I'm a Working Stiff, and I get it done!

So, to sum it all up, I may not be a certified service doggie, but I've got my hands totally fully trying to keep Mom and Dad in line while keeping my big sister out of trouble.  It's a full time job and I honestly don't know what my family would do without me!   So I am definitely a Working Stiff!

*kissey face*
Abby the Working Stiff Hippobotomus

24 comments:

Tank said...

You've been saving all that up for a very long time, haven't you?? I'm not sure I'm buying into the entirety of your rather verbose manifesto... but you've certainly made a reasonable case for yourself as a working dog.

Good luck Hippobotomus!

PeeS - did you notice what I donated as a prize?

Mogley G. Retriever said...

We were in awe of your skills in training your mom how to hand out hot dog treats. But then when you crate train your human, we are barkless. We are so impressed that we could not bark if the mail man rang the doorbell.

You go girl~

Mogley G. Retriever

Jed and Abby in MerryLand said...

Wow, you crate trained your mom! Boy, do we have a business opportunity for you. That is a skill most of dogs- and maybe a few kittehs - would pay good noms to acquire. So, we turn this into a genuine degree program - doggies can earn a C.Y.M. [Crate Your Mom]. You are not only a champion working stiff, you are a champion entrepreneur!

Jed & Abby

rottrover said...

Abby, when do you rest?? WOW, were exhausted just from reading your bullet points!!

-Bart and Ruby

Two French Bulldogs said...

what a cool entry!!
Benny & Lily

milkathedane said...

That seems like work, girl!

You ever take a vacation? You certainly deserve one!

:*

Mila.

milkathedane said...

Oops...

Bad signature... BOL

* Milka :D

Maggie and Mitch said...

We burst out laughing when we saw you holding down the snow, Abby! Somebody has to do it, right! You are the perfect working girlie!

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

houndstooth said...

What on Earth would your family do without you? You've got more than a full time job going there, Abby!

Bunny

Jan said...

Training humans is very difficult. You should write a manual since you have so many ideas.

Corbin said...

Training the humans is the most difficult job yet! You sure sound like you work super hard at it!
-Corbin

Sam and Pippen said...

Just the fact that you crate trained your mom should make you a shoe in! You did forget one important job though... you fertilize the lawn!

Sam and Pippen

ArtemisiaFSS said...

Abby you certainly work hard. We know how hard it is to teach certain Mom's how to throw balls and dispense treats properly we are all still working on our Mom. She is so slow it takes all 4 of us. ~Fenris & his cats

Mimi and CC Cabana said...

It's hard work being the bad dog, especially when we know you really want to be good. Kudos on all your sacrifices, especially rolling in the dog poop. Now that's true love!

Honey the Great Dane said...

Oh my God, Abby - I never realised you did so much?? Gosh - you're right - your entire household (in fact, I think all of America) would fall apart if it weren't for you! Hee! Hee! :-) I loved your entry and I thought was SO well written - and SO funny!!! LOVED the picture of you crate-training your human!

Slobbers,
Honey the Great Dane

Lassiter Chase and Benjamin said...

Stopping by to say hi! We entered the Mango Minster Contest too! We liked your picture of pruning the branches. You sure do a lot of work around the house too!

Wild Dingo said...

Dogmas Abby! When do you take a break? those peeps are working you to the bone.

Sammie and Avalon said...

We jes hope you are being reimbursed with more than turkey franks for all that work you do - Holy Labors of Hercules! We are most impressed and wish you a ton of luck!
Hugs xoxoxo
Sammie and Avalon

STELLA and RORY from Down Under said...

My gosh Abby, we didn't realise how much work you had to do. Your family would fall apart if it wasn't for all your help. Grrreat job. Good luck with your entry. No worries, and love, Stella and Rory

Wyatt said...

I'm impressed that you crate trained your mom....that's a ruff job...BOL

Wyatt

Bigdogzola said...

Hello Abby
We are looking at all the Mango Minster entries and applaud you on your commitment to keep your family happy and in order. Congratualtions on your good work..you're not making it easy for the rest of us doggies when our humans see read about your super work ethics....humpf!! especially the bad sports doggies...humpf!!
Aroofs...Zola from France

Cyber-sibes said...

Woozers, woo do a LOT of work! And woo successfully crate-trained your MOM? We playbow to woo!

jack & moo

2browndawgs said...

You are definitely a hard worker! Best of luck to you.

Baby Rocket Dog and Hootie said...

Abs, you do have a lot of jobs that can qualify you as a working stiff! We sure laughed at that pic of you crate training your mom and becoming a hat for your dad. Too funny!!
Good luck in MM2012.
Smooches,
BabyRD & Hootie