*sigh* The Hippobottomus wanted to write this post herself, and while I am a bit leery of setting some sort of precedent, I have to agree that she is the best one to write this entry. -Fiona
HI!!! It’s Abby
here. Yes, it’s actually me! I was able to wrest control of the computer
away from my older sister long enough to post my
Mango Minster entry. It took some work, but I was able to
persuade Fi that I could best present my
case for being a Working Stiff.
I know, you're thinking, "Abby, we know working Goldendoodles, and you are no
Clive." Well, I agree, I am no Clive - but then I don't think there are too many dogs in the world that are close to being like Clive. But, I am a Working Stiff nonetheless.
If you look at some of our other bloggie posts, I know it all looks like fun and games, but trust me, if it weren't for me, our entire household would grind to a halt. Allow me to give you some examples and I think you'll agree, I'm not just a cute lay-about, I WORK.
First, I have spent my Entire Life trying to train Mom how to feed turkey hotdogs. I started training Mom when I was a wee spud of 10 weeks old, and have been working with her ever since. Mom is a bit dense when it comes to turkey hotdog dispensing, so trust me when I tell you this is WORK.
Here, at a mere 12 weeks old, with the help of Jessi the Turkey Hotdog Goddess, I am demonstrating the Proper Turkey Hotdog Delivery Technique.
As I have mentioned, Mom is not a quick study, and I have spent almost two years training Mom.
This has not been an easy process, and I fear that I will be spending my entire life giving Mom 'refresher training' in how to feed turkey hotdogs.
But I do far more work than just that. Here are some bullet-points from my resume:
I've tried to teach Mom how to throw a tennis ball (that was a bit of a failure, but you know what they say about silk purses and sow ears...)
I let Mom know when it it time to mow the lawn.
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Dr. Livingstone, I presume? |
And I do my part with the yardwork by helping with the pruning!
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Check out ALL my pruning work! |
I take care of Dad when he's sick, by being a Puppy Hat (TM).
I hold down the snow.
I hold down the floor.
I humor Mom with her crazy 'photo ops'
I provide comic relief when needed.
I make sure my parents get regular exercise.
Likewise, I make sure my sister gets plenty of exercise.
I protect the property from tree rats and other miscreants.
I make sure Mom updates our bloggie at least every once in a while.
I finally crate-trained Mom.
I make sure Mom eats her veggies.
And I do tons of other stuff around the house, like, I've eliminated Mom's need for an alarm clock - 5:25am is a perfect time to get up; it's not my fault that I don't know which days are 'weekends' or 'holidays' and which days are 'work days'....
Most importantly, I am a foil for my sister. If I weren't around, I have a feeling Fi would be called a 'rotten dog' on occasion. But with me around, Fi is always The Good Dog, because I have generously taken over the role of 'Rotten Dog' all so my sister will shine. I'm the one who tries to run down the hill to greet doggies on the street so Fi doesn't have to. I'm the one who runs off with the tennis ball while Fi stands around looking well-behaved in comparison. I'm the one who barks at potential intruders when they are 2 blocks away, so Mom and Dad have plenty of time to prepare. I'm the one who rolls in poop at daycare and has to be given an 'emergency bath' while Fi looks fresh as a daisy.
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I've got my 'Bad Dog' face on here to emphasize the point. |
It's not easy being the Bad Dog, but I'm willing to make the effort, so Fi looks good. All the time. And it takes work for me to be Bad, since my natural inclination is toward cuteness. It's also not easy making sure everyone in the house does what they are
supposed to while also presenting my sister in the best possible light,
but I'm a Working Stiff, and I get it done!
So, to sum it all up, I may not be a certified service doggie, but I've got my hands totally fully trying to keep Mom and Dad in line while keeping my big sister out of trouble. It's a full time job and I honestly don't know what my family would do without me! So I am definitely a Working Stiff!
*kissey face*
Abby the Working Stiff Hippobotomus