Saturday, January 15, 2011

There and Back Again

Oooh! The adventures I have to tell you about Mango's estate!

But first, let me address the concerns of some who are worried that I might be unfairly biased toward my sister in the Bad Sport competition. And I totally understand how, under other circumstances, this could be a concern. Especially since TaiChi was my total hero, and Great Uncle Billy is legendary. But they were both portable. Billy was (at most) 15 pounds, and TaiChi at her most rotund was 22 pounds. Not exactly pocket-doggies, but portable if necessary. Abby? 65 pounds. Not so portable. I mentioned that Dad gave himself a hernia picking her up for her weighing-in, right? Yeah. And Dad's a big strong guy. Which makes Abby Not Portable. Now, I'm not saying that ALL Bad Sports should be portable. Far from it. I'm just saying that the only champion Bad Sports I want to live with are portable ones. I hope that clears things up.

Now, as you may (or may not) know, the judges for MangoMinster have all met up at Mango's estate in preparation for the beginning of MangoMinster. I confess, I was a bit surprised to learn that Mango's idea of entertaining his guests was to sucker most of the judges into manual labor in the basement while he and the Thor (the other mastiff) stayed upstairs eating pizza and watching HBO. Thor knows how to use the remote control. However, being a good-natured girl, I was more than happy to pitch in with the labors in the basement.

Being the only one with long leggies, I guess I was on plunger duty. Although I have no idea how Anakin got himself in the toilet to begin with...

Last year, when I was a mere contestant, I recall partying on the beach with Moose and all my fellow sporty dogs, but hey, I can go with the flow. (Or lack of flow, as the case may be! Hah! *ahem*) And getting Anakin unstuck from a toilet is Just Like drinking margaritas on the beach. Or something.

Anyway, after ensuring that Twinkie and Frankie had the painting under control I thought I might take a break. All work and no zoomies makes Fi a cranky doggie.

As I ascended the stairs, I was almost struck down by an overwhelming smell. My first thought was that Rhode Island had attacked the state of MasterChewSits with chemical weapons. But then I remembered the hastily provided instructions, and donned the gas mask that was provided in the judges' hazmat kits gift bags.

I hadn't realized that mastiffs are the dirigibles of doggies. I swear, they must be as big as they are because of their, um, high emissions levels. *whew*

While the two large dogs seemed to be blissfully unaware of their impact on global warming mesmerized by HBO, I snuck in and went over to Dexter.


With a new-found respect for Dexter's tolerance levels, I asked him if he wanted to leave the Torpid Twosome to their anchovy-pizza farts. Milliseconds later we were out in the fresh air.

Mango had thoughtfully ordered some snow to be delivered to MasterChewSits before I arrived, so I felt quite at home. Dexter gave me a chance to stretch my leggies and practice my bitey-zoomie technique so I wouldn't be out of shape when I got back to Utah.

Dexter is a fair amount larger than me (or Abby), so I had to be quick on my toes! But it was great to go dash around in the snow for a while.

After a good romp in the snow, I decided I had better head back to Utah for dinner to check in on things.

And get in a little smackdown time with Abby. My workout with Dexter certainly paid off!

I'm now off to spend some quality time with Mom and Dad, and then I'll be zipping back to Mango's estate for more manual labor fun and games!

*kissey face*
-Fiona (and Abby, who seems to be an okay job holding down the fort while I'm in MasterChewSits)


Khyra And Sometimes Her Mom said...

Ha Ha Ha on Dexter's TRUE size!


Mango said...

Oh dear! Miss Fiona! Are the fumes so bad as that? And consorting with the Pea? You are just looking for trouble.


the 4 Bs said...

geesh, what an adventure you've had. are you sure you can go back to that environment? at least they had some snow there for you to play in. i bet Abby missed you.


Frankie Furter said...

Fiona, I need one of those gas mask thingys too!! Or at least a clothes pin.
I didn't know that we could get the H... outta her fur a Home Pass. How did you get tickets fur the... Gas Jet???
Hurry back... YOU are the only BIG DAWG that doesn't squrit pee on me.

Mollie Jo and Bobo said...

Looks like a gassing good time at the Mango Estate! BOL

We just love your action/bitey face in the snow shots. Leaves us with aching sides every time.

Wags and Licks,
Mollie Jo & Bobo

Asta said...

That manooal labow must be gweat excewcise cause you look like you awe in pawsome shape..youw smackdown, ummm, playtime wif Abby is pwoof that you haven't lost youw edge.

I am i awe that you managed to suwvive the gaseous emanations fwom the basement of the estate..I would stick to theiw snowy outdoows fow most of the stay if i wewe you
smoochie kisses

BRUTUS said...

Such responsibilities that have been bestowed upon you by RH. I'm in awe that you can juggle that with your duties keeping Abby in line at home. Most impressive. Feel free to drop by if you ever need a break (you are probably flying directly over us en route to MasterChewSits). I'll be sure to stock my estate with lots of snow, frisbees, and anything else you might fancy. I'll even let you raid my refrigerator. Just so you know...

Brutus the Frenchie

twinkietinydog said...

BOL I'm doing some rounds getting caught up with MM 2011 and thought I'd stop by and pay my respects to the co-judge.
Since I'm here, and since I'm a judge, I'll disregard all rules of MM and I'll enter my bro Pedrito in your category, just like that: He IS a bad sport. End of entry BOL
licks and wags to my pals
Judge Twink

Marjie said...

Here and I thought those green fumes only followed me around when I ate green broccoli.


3 doxies said...

Does dat plane go to da Bahamas by any chance? See, you should haves nevers mentioned giving me a round trip ticket to drink beers on da beach. Oh nevers said you'd give me da trip.


Pepsi Bum said...

Those green fumes look deadly! BOL.


Jed and Abby in MerryLand said...

We are filled with admiration for your well organized, disciplined routine that allows you to fulfill both your judicial and familial duties so effectively. Your decisions are well thought out and effectively presented. You are definitely Abby's type of judge, Your Honor! Abby likes a well run courtroom.

Jed & Abby, L.B.E. [Legal Beagle(mix) Extraordinaire]

Sue said...

Not to worry, we know you can be a fair and impartial judge. We think that living with a poor sport puts you in a unique position to look for the qualities required in a truly poor sport. We live with one, so we've learned to spot them.
Morgan, Tsar and the Porties (including Fudge)

Benny and Lily said...

Hi new friend.
Hysterical post. Love the airplane
Benny & Lily

Kari in WeHo said...

looks like total chaos is going on!