Sunday, December 2, 2012

Our weekend 'adventure'

Somewhere along the way, Mom got this brilliant idea that she could groom us herself, rather than paying our local professional groomers zillions of dollars.  "How hard can this be?" she asked.  And all her fellow crazy dog ladies were all, "Oh, it's EASY.  And it's great bonding time with your dogs.  You'll love it."  They even gave her links to YouTube videos where drugged doggies were standing all passively while their owners run vicious clipper thingys all over their bodies and faces and feet and whatnot. And since Mom is a crazy kool-aid-drinking dog lady, she was all, "Yeah.  You're right.  I SO can do this!  This will be such fun!"

Were we consulted?

Of course not.

So Mom ordered a whole bunch of grooming stuff, and was all excited to get started, as we were getting a bit wooly.  Wooly?  Us?  Just because we want the air conditioning on when it's 40 degrees out does NOT mean we are hot and wooly...

You be the judge.

Not wooly.  Just preparing for winter.  If it ever gets here.
Anyhoo, we didn't have doggie class this Saturday, so Mom decided that would be the PERFECT day to groom us.


First, she and Dad set up the grooming table.

Really?  You can NOT be serious!
Apparently Mom was serious.  And out came the clippers.  Luckily, one of Mom's crazy dog lady friends very nicely suggested that Abby be the first victim so I wouldn't have the be the guinea pig.  Thank you, Dexter Momma!!!

Abby was a wee bit less thrilled about this prospect, and Dad suggested that this whole grooming thing might be a two-person project.

Non-plussed fluffy puppy

Given that Abby was Not Thrilled about the whole home grooming thing, it was probably a good thing that Dad stepped in.  However, grooming is very taxing on his back and by the time Abby declared herself done, both seemed a little frazzled.

Non-plussed nekkid puppy and tired Dad

However, being the trooper that he is, Dad continued on so I wouldn't be left alone with Mom and the clippers.

Note Mom's look of determined concentration and my look of "I'm SO over this."

My head really isn't that big, BTW - it was just the angle of the camera.

When it was all said and done, Abby and I both survived the experience. 

You're done now, right?!?

After both of us, Mom was a little too 'worn out' to trim our ears and top knots.

I would like to state for the record that I DO NOT LIKE clippers around my feet.  And I'll do just about anything to avoid them.  Mom tried the 'lift the opposite foot so Fi has to stand still on the foot I'm trying to clip' move, and lemme tell ya, I had to reveal my secret powers of levitation more than once.  Which may or may not have resulted in me having 'Yeti toes' (as Mom calls them).  So my toes are a wee bit hairy.  If winter ever comes, I'm going to want warm tootsies!

At least I was not as bad as Abby, who didn't like her toes being clippered OR having clippers near her face.  Dad attempted to use the scissors on Abby's face, and well, it'll grow out, right?!?

You might have to biggify to see the 'layers' on her snooter.
Heehee.  Mom vows that she will consult with Jessi and see if there is some way to get us to stay still so our face and feet can be trimmed without danger of losing an eye or a toe (or a finger, if we were to chomp one off - not that we would, but the threat is always there, if ya know what I mean!).  So, apparently, Mom is going to attempt this home grooming adventure again at some point.  (BTW, Mom, I'll let you trim my belly - it's a bit hairy and a hairy belly is just not a flattering look for a stylish gal such as myself!)

We have suggested to Mom, however, that maybe she shouldn't rush to quit her day job!  Heehee!

*kissey face*
-Fiona and Abby the Hippobottomus


Berts Blog said...

Oh My Vickie tried that with Willa and Scrappy. It was so sad, they wouldn't go out in public for weeks. Since then My Vickie has retired the grooming clippers and Tuesday we all go to the professional.

Hey, you guys gettin snow tonight, cause it is raining like a river here.


Jed and Abby in MerryLand said...

Good grief! Mama is going to stop complaining about us shedding doggie hair that clogs up the vacuum after seeing those harrowing combat photos. And we're smugly content in our relatively short, not very curly furs that hardly ever even need brushing. Well, maybe Jed does, but a thorough petting is all the brushing this Abby needs. Sure hope your temperatures don't plunge before your furs grow back, which should be pretty soon.

Dexter said...

I recognize that look on your mom's face. It means "Dammit, I am going to do this thing no matter what." That can only mean trouble. Your dad looks as miserable as you two. Maybe he thought he might be next.

Perhaps some bows in your ear furs?

Now you know the RH simply loved spa day. I don't know what they gave him, but when those same people wash me it is torture. They wanted to trim my toe furs once and I screamed! That put an end to it. Try yelling like your head is on fire.


Mitch and Molly said...

Do you girls know how a camel kicks? You wait till your mom's face is positioned right behind your feets and then............ It works for me every time!
Your mom and dad did a great job and you can hold your heads up and be proud!

Love ya lots
Mitch and Molly

Frankie Furter and Ernie said...

This is a SCARY POST. We can NOT believe that you were subjected to such horrors. You DO look good though.

Two Pitties in the City said...

I guess we should consider ourselves lucky that our pups only need baths...because that alone can be hard enough.

Two French Bulldogs said...

If we would have seen that table we would have run for the hills
Benny & Lily

rottrover said...

OMD! We thought it was bad enough that we got bathed outside with the hose last weekend! Clippers? Scissors?? We feel faint just thinking about your ordeal.

Bart and Ruby

Bunk said...

Your mom is very brave! The kind of crazy I am, my humans would not DARE come near me with clippers. In fact, the last time they tried to brush my fur was a good year ago. I gave them such a hard time that they never tried again. Sigh. :)