First, thanks for all the wonderful comments about Mr. Bufus. I know he is up against some stiff competition, so we’re going to have to see if we can discover which bribes are most successful with Khyra, the judge for the Cat Dog category. As an aside to Khyra, what with Mr. Bufus being old and venerable, I don’t think Mr. Bufus would taste very good – I think he would be a bit stringy. Maybe stew, or a broth, but I don’t think he’s the roast type. I’m just saying….
Anyhoo. We’ve got Mr. Bufus all squared away.
The problem is TaiChi. Like Mr. Bufus, TaiChi is about 5,000 years old and since there is no Methuselah class, we’re not sure where to enter her. So I’m hoping that my wonderful bloggie friends could help us decide.
The categories (and descriptions) for MangoMinster are:
Cat Dogs - Some doggies are, well, CATS. Right? So if you are a cat which is actually not a dog, never fear, you can enter here (hey, that's like a poem).
Despite sleeping 27 hours a day, I don’t think we can pass TaiChi off as a cat. Besides, we’ve already got Mr. Bufus entered in this category, and I don’t want to give him even more competition… So this one is right out.
Hound Dogs - Do you bay at the moon? Become deaf when your snooter is engaged? Run fast on long legs? This is your category.
Hmm. TaiChi doesn’t bay at the moon, and I wouldn’t exactly say that she runs on long legs. Or runs at all. But when her snooter is engaged? Watch out. No dinner is safe when TaiChi is around.
See how she’s honing in on my dinner?
But better evidence of how her snooter guides her? Keep in mind that she sleeps 27 hours a day. And yet when someone else’s dinner is involved? She starts bouncing around like an atom in a superheated atmosphere. Seriously. This is TaiChi at her most animated. And why? Because her snooter is in overdrive (and she think Dad has some steak scraps left over from his salad).
So maybe she’s a Hound Dog in disguise. But let’s look at the other categories.
Herding Dogs - All you guys and gals who love to round things up enter here (yes, even Border Collie dogs which are not actual doggies, but alien beings from the planet Agility).
Umm. She’s 18. I think the only thing she’s heard in the last few years is the opening of the treat bag or the dinner can. Oh. Not that heard. Hmm…
I think my Wubba is the only thing she has rounded up in recent years. And it may be because she tripped over it. But for competition’s sake, we’ll say she rounded it up.
Here she’s herding the cat food. Uh. Hoarding it.
Oh poop. I’m not entirely sure that we can shoe-horn TaiChi into the herding category.
Unless you count this one, where she has a Very Little Me, and a Very Little Friend of Mine distracted and backed into a corner so she can get the treat in Mom’s hand….
I dunno. What do you think? Is she a herding dog, or not even close?
Sporty Dogs - If you do a sport or are basically a good sport about life, then you are a Sporty Dog.
Well, TaiChi is actually a great sport about life, especially since she has to take all sorts of meds, and gets stuck with needles and things and really doesn’t get too cranky about it. However, the only category for me is Sporty Dog, and since it is already a tough class, I don’t want even more competition, even from my own sister.
Especially since her main sport seems to be Marathon Napping.
Which brings us to the next category.
Non-Sporty Dogs - Bad dog! Bad dog! Grouchy? Sore loser? You know who you are.
As I mentioned before, TaiChi is generally a good sport. Except when she finds herself in snow. And then she is Totally Not Interested.
Oh, and she’s seriously grumpy when she has to go to the V-E-T, but we don’t have any pictures of that.
In short, I don’t really think she is a bad sport.
Wait!!!! I just read Ike’s description of a Bad Sport, which includes (and I quote): So if you like to tinkle on the floor a little or maybe go after a dog or two, consider yourself a bad sport! Maybe you steal a cookie from your dad's plate or eat a bit of poo (your own or cats') or you fart -burp in your mom's face after eating said delicious poo - call yourself a bad sport!
Well, being a bazillion years old, TaiChi does tinkle on the floor occasionally, but that’s mostly because she’s got an Old Lady Bladder. However, I think that the picture that I used above (the one where she has snuck into Mr. Bufus’ lair in the House With Wheels and has eaten most of his food) might constitute a Bad Sport. Or the one where she is super excited about the leftover food from Dad’s dinner? Either of those might make her a Bad Sport.
And the burping in Mom’s face after the eating of said contraband cat food? TaiChi is a pro at that. And you’ve seen how excited she gets when she is trying to steal food from Dad’s dinner…So maybe we should rethink this Bad Sport category. Especially since she is not at all sporty, either. What do you think? Bad sport? I’m thinking so. But I want to explore all the categories.
Hard Working Dogs - Have a job? This one is for you.
Bwahahaha!!! TaiChi? Princess of the Pillows? A job?!? Unless you count being The Queen a job, I Don’t Think So.
Or, if you consider making sure the couch doesn’t fly up and hit someone, you might consider her a working dog. I mean, she holds that couch down Really Well.
Cracker Dog Insane Terriers (CDIT) - Let's face it, first of all, we are Relentlessly Huge terrier fans here at the estate. Plus there just is nothing like a terrier. Show us what you got.
Thank heavens we don’t have to deal with Cracker Dog Insane Terriers around here. I only included it so that for those of you who aren’t following MangoMinster diligently can see all of the categories.
Anyhoo, any help/suggestions that you can provide in helping TaiChi find the proper class for her would be GREATLY appreciated.
I’ve suggested that they have an ‘Emeritus’ class, but so far I haven’t been able to really sell Mango on the idea. Which has got Mom thinking about running ‘MethuselahMinster’. She’s going to decide this weekend if she has the time/energy. If so, she’ll post the rules really soon. Essentially, you have to be considered senior/geriatric by the chart she’ll provide (it determines how really ancient you are by your weight and age in human years). But more on that later.
So please help me get TaiChi classed so I can enter her. Thanks!!!!